This is my prayer: that God would just hand me a teaching or counseling job at a Christian school… In His hands, on a silver platter, “here Nic. Go change lives like you did before. Go teach kids to make a difference.” And then I say, “Yes Lord, send me. I’m ready, FINALLY…sorry it took me so long…” And then I start spinning in circles, fast, with smiles, and laughter, and love, and passion (my gosh do I LOVE being a passionate person!). And as I spin, I feel His embrace around me saying, “Come out now child. I made you to do this.” And there I am, in a holy dance, seen, used, and glorifying. and then I’m moved by His Spirit.
My life. Oh sometimes I have to just laugh (and then walk away because otherwise I will be completely overwhelmed by a huge mess.) So here I sit in Caribou Coffee away from dirty dishes and piles of laundry and carpet that has dog hair waiting to be vacuumed. I sit here with Shaun Groves on repeat and a heart felt prayer that screams, “COME AND MOVE ME!” I’ve been working on this resume for a good 10 days now. Why is it so difficult?! I know how to teach. I was made to teach. I know how to love kids. I was made to love kids. And that’s exactly why the last six months I’ve been lost. So lost without them. But I’m ready now. I’m found now. and I’M SO READY to be used! COME AND MOVE ME!
as I sit here…move me.
He’s simply moving me in this holy dance and people are going to start staring… And as I pray “come and move me,” He’s saying “come follow me.” He reaches out to me and says, “Come dance with me.” I take a step back in fear. But then I stop and realize that this has been the part where I find out who I am. So I take a step forward instead. I follow. And He helps me. And He moves me closer to Him where I find that I need to be with kids. He reaches out to pull me closer even still and says, “You will be with kids.” And I pray louder with another step forward, “come and move me!” And He holds me tight to the point I can feel His heart beating. He spins me, and now my heart is beating. This holy dance, it’s where His love finds me, and where I let it. He’s got me dancing and I’m singing Hallelujah. Every breath I draw sings, Halleljuah.
Who is this God that loves me still!?
His love echoes a quote by Margaret Peters: “Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.” What matters to me, being His, wholly His, dancing in the embrace of His saving grip…
The life changer told me on our first date that I need to be working with kids, he was right, even then. I rolled my eyes. now I really, REALLY laugh and realize I want nothing more than to be lost in a mess of kids. I still roll my eyes–only at myself. The life changer was leading me to His will. This holy dance, it’s leading me with His will. It’s where I leap for joy at the thought of changing a life, even one; I jump at the thought of impacting lives for eternity just like I used to. COME AND MOVE ME! Because I surrender. I am ready. I need to be working with kids! He is calling me to be working with kids! In that, I’m wholly His.
I will follow Him in my weakness and in my strength–all the way. He just needs to move me! He is near, He is here! And now, here I am Lord, give it to me (on a silver platter please!). I’ve been patient. I’m trying to stay patient. But there is an urgency in every circumstance of this real world, and there is this urgency on my heart, so bring me to it. On a sacred path. In this holy dance. Move me to it!