I know it is something that we all go through.. whether we want to or not. And I know it is something we all have to accept whether we want to or not.
ok. so i’ve accepted the fact that all around me, my friends are growing up. In fact, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I have too. I was the first of my friends to leave. So I get it. I accept that. What I don’t accept, what I don’t want to accept is that with that moving on…it’s just that moving on–but without the other that were once moving with you.
One of my best friends, the one who was “left behind” has told me not to take it personal. That we are all in different stages in our lives…she’s right to an extent.
For one, she is all alone in a place that feels desserted.
For another, she is all alone in a place that is all too familiar.
For one more, he is surrounded by people that care for him, but completely overlooks that, and remains lonely. (well that’s my analysis at least)
And for me, I am surrounded by what would feel like the greatest support of all, my family, but still, I feel all alone.
It’s not fair. and it doesn’t make any sense to me. Why if we are all feeling alone, do we choose to experience it alone?
that’s all I got for now. no words, just hurt… because these besties, there are days when they aren’t. and if that comes with growing up, then I really don’t want it. what hope does it give? that all friendships from here on out are shallow, with no depth, no support in the hard times? that all relationships from here on out are selfish? Because the ones that I thought were deep and meaningful, the ones that I thought were accepting and honest, they aren’t there at all times anymore, just the convienent ones— and how giving is a friend then, how selfless are those relationships?
It’s something that no one wants to accept.