My writing is better at night. Night. Yes night. When I’m laying in bed. Just me and my thoughts as I slowly start to tread off to sleep. But then my mind goes and I race to you. To where I feel found. Where I feel okay to break down and just be me. No reason. Except that this is where I work things out. So here I go.
If I want to write, guess what folks, I’m gonna write.
If I want to dance… well.. I’ll do it tomorrow…
And if I want to cry, I will. But I’m not. Yet. because I am the QUEEN of my emotions!
And if I want to sing, dammit I WILL SING. LOUDLY. I will sing with joy. WITH JOY! like that.
If I want to run, I’ll run until my calf explodes in pain and I need to ice it every two hours.
If I want to work things out, I will. I am. Because that’s when I feel
control controlled, in my sweet heart.
Hey! Here I go.
Here I go letting my Master move back into my heart. Because even though I gave Him brokenness, He’s still giving me innocence. And love. He’s pretty great like that!
I seem to have forgotten that He’s not watching me from a distance as I sing with joy, as I dance a jiggy. He’s not watching me from a distance when I write. He’s not watching me from a distance as I cry. He’s not watching me as I run my heart and fat thighs out. Nope. He’s there with me, inside of me, through every joy, through every pain, every struggle, every disappointment, every good and perfect thing. He doesn’t leave us. And He hasn’t left me. I may have felt like He did, but He didn’t, and He’s not going to.
You know what He will do though? He’s going to empower me to change; to jump out of the funk on the funkiest of days and dance… Like a boss. Like a FOOL!
Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—if their thinking is controlled by the Spirit, there is life and peace.
LIFE. annnnnd PEACE.. Bam. Take that you funk fools! Because my life will have life. And my life will have peace.
He’s helping me live a mighty big life. I heard this at church this weekend:
I am the physical space in which God dwells. And He WANTS to be here.
So here we are, watching the sunrise that He painted for me… To see His majesty.
Here I go finding out what it means to rise after falling. To be content again. To be bored. And yes, that’s a good thing. So good. Because He’s there with me. Just like He’s here with me now. In the night. Where we’re just working things out. In this refound place. Where angles dance and sing over me. Where outstretched arms spin me. Where my heart is taken over. Where I’m with Him. Just Him. And here we go…