I am an impatient analyzer

Hey. So okay.  One of my favorite things to do is track my life.  That sounds strange, a little weird, maybe a lot weird, but its what I do.  and, the reason I like doing it so much is because I enjoy to the fullest seeing where God has taken me.

I can go back to just about any moment and see where and how God has used them to help me and bring me to where I am today.

EXAMPLE. My life as a middle school director.  I loved middle school.  when I was in 7th grade, I was high on life! I had my friends and a whole lot of funness!  When I was in 8th grade, i hated middle school.  I felt so alone and not liked.  I felt like I didn’t know myself of what I was looking for.  and now.  I have students that love middle school, and I have students that hate it.  That right there-a gift that God gave me to help me in my future.

EXAMPLE. Moving to SD.  I hated it.  I was 13 and a city girl.  You can take the girl out of the city but you can’t take the city out of the girl.  Sorry, but really.  When I was in middle school I was in honors classes.  When I got to high school, there were no honors classes, which meant, I had already taken the freshman courses and would take all sophomore classes.  Ultimately it led me to graduate a year early (which was great because i hated high school), which led me to UTSA when in 2003, where I met Amy, who took me to CBC, where I met Scott, who led me to Christ (for real, for real this time), which led me to volunteer at church in youth ministry, which… hello!  do you see where i am now?!

So. I was reading ecclesiastes today.  I believe, that sometimes, God puts us in some of the hardest times and circumstances to save us from even harder times and circumstances.

“WHEN TIMES ARE GOOD,

YOU SHOULD BE CHEERFUL;

WHEN TIMES ARE BAD,

THINK WHAT IT MEANS.

GOD MAKES THEM BOTH

TO KEEP US FROM KNOWING

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT.”

ECCLESIASTES 7:14

When I was in middle school I never thought about why I was going through the hard times, but I did enjoy the good things.  Still, I never, ever attributed them to God. and when I was hated and left out in high school for being the new, spoiled, little rich, city girl, i never thought, “this comes from God.”

Instead… I analyzed things from every possible angle, wondering why I was going through the challenges i was and just wanting to be done.  I had this unbearable impatience to be in the next chapter, yet if I had, I would have missed all the steps to get me to now.  (btw- I never thanked God for the good times).  So back to my reading, “I discovered this after looking at the matter from every possible angle, though I have searched repeatedly, I have not found what  was looking for.”

But it’s like the moment I did find (God), i found wisdom in His reasons, His plan.  “There’s nothing better than being wise, Knowing how to interpret the meaning of life. Wisdom puts light in the eyes, And gives gentleness to words and manners.” (Ecc. 8:1)

For His thoughts are nothing like mine, and His ways are far beyond anything I could ever imagine.  His ways are higher than mine.  and when His way is done, it will always accomplish whatever He wants for me.

Which is why, this is the theme of my blog.  I want to trak God, to be impatient at times, to analyze things (in a non-obsessive way) to find Him at the core of every circumstance of my life.  i have a question/challenge: chart your life, and track God’s will and plan for you.  What’d you come up with, how has He saved you, how has He led you?

let's behold

@nicolebeholds

top posts

read more...

@nicolebeholds