I know that it’s been long… a very long LONG time– but you’ll know why soon enough, promise!
In the mean time- my life goes on. It’s not anything special (to me), but to the Creator, it’s every bit of purposeful as He dreamt… and each day in His promise, I’m finding more and more of what that exactly means.
For example, I just finished my vegetables–and Lord knows I better have an awesome work out today because of it. And you know those self-proclaimed goals that I’m so crazy about (and SO good at failing…), well there’s purpose to those too. It’s called grace. And who can really appreciate that if we can’t really understand what it’s all about.
It’s holy week. DUH! Most holy weeks’ I sit in a contemplative sadness wondering the point of it all. Good people are still good. Bad people are still bad. And I sit there and imagine nails, hands, thorns, and everything else “Easter” (eggs excluded) asking, “When does all this “grace” change me “enough” to appreciate grace not just this week, but in the everyday mundane things too.
But the thing is, does my five hundredth attempt at a paleo day gone bad really warrant the same grace that we’ve been given through eternal life? And does my roll-by stop (or whatever the next traffic violation is) warrant just as much grace? And does my snappy, sassy attitude ask for a little more than “that” because it was upsetting to others? Or is grace just, grace? I don’t get it.
And maybe that’s the simple purpose, knowing that grace isn’t so little and mundane but rather so big we can’t even fathom….
Is grace something that’s been lost in the “slow and steady” and “fast and no time to breathe” every day? And this holy week, is it just another something that has me stop to say, none of this, meeting the man of my dreams, buying a house with him, hopefully getting engaged soon, and then married later this year….oops, did I just spill the beans on something…. none of it, possible without grace. Fill in your own blanks. A healthy marriage, a strong career, your childrens’ laughter…
Because who am I to be loved like this, who is he. And who are we together without fully comprehending the meaning and fullness of grace? His church. Who are we to step away and then back again because we’ve been called by grace? Isn’t that whole fullness of grace, no bounds?
And grace- it’s the gift we don’t deserve but are given anyway. One moment, I find myself wondering how my “paleo gone bad day” needs more grace …maybe because I’m not loving myself enough the way He wants me to be loved. And the traffic violations that get me everytime– God, I pray (for real) please help those nice police officers know grace. And the sassafrass that’s my middle name, well shoot. I hope you ALL understand grace too.
But not for me… for yourselves. Yeah, the good people will still be good people, and the bad people still bad, but the people still His because of His grace.
And this post isn’t anything special….just grace. Because each morning for the last six months, I’ve thought of nothing BUT GRACE…and that’s my purpose, getting it past the gift and into the heart.
ps. my heart is extra healthy today… it’s gonna be a paleo day gone good.