So you turned on Ray (which you swore would stay away longer because it just hurt too much) and then you let your thoughts bleed onto paper as your heart composed the feelings…
you snuggle with your sister to celebrate a beautiful life that deserves nothing less than greatness. You rejoice because this greatness is real and ours. And then you shed a tear or two or three because it’s that sort of night where you choose to stay in sweats with her so that you’ll be reminded of the gift and faithfulness of a reliable Lord.
You lift the ones you love, the ones held in darkness, raise them into His arms and you pray a passionate prayer that wakes the goodness and brings company into emptiness through the purity of His Spirit within you. With every bit of “the l-word” holding you up, you wait, and then you will return home.
To the peacefulness that begs to stand still. To the contentment in knowing that these experiences only make you appreciate everything a little more. You stand at ease in these arms. And you admit that the sorrow broke you so that He could rebuilt you. And here you are, still wanting, needing more. You surrender and find yourself here, closer.
Just be held…closely. And you pray it too-let my heart be still, strong, still Yours, remade pure through redemption and grace. You pray you want it, and He hears and gives it.
And with whatever hope you’ve been given, you whisper thanks to the ones who have never forgotten, never stopped believing, and whom you know with every ounce will never stop loving. You do what is right. What is pure and noble, what is expected and noteworthy, what is deserved and you trust, you accept, you surrender and you stop to live a different kind of Saturday night.