EARLY IN THE MORNING,
I WILL CELEBRATE THE LIGHT.
WHEN I STUMBLE IN THE DARKNESS,
I WILL CALL YOUR NAME BY NIGHT.
I just had the best weekend of my life. Seriously, THE BEST! And the funny thing is that last week, while totally excited to leave, I almost didn’t want to. I called it my “funk.” It’s the funk that had me smiling one minute and teary eyed the next. It’s that funk that grabs me and forces fear down my throat reminding me that in a few short days, my kids will no longer be mine. And then it forces me into a cruel realization that these kids were never mine, they were and always will be God’s, He was just entrusting them to me. And am I so SO glad that He did. I think I said in an earlier post, and if I didn’t I am now, Satan is trying so hard to steal the last bits of joy I have in my job. And he’s working so, SO hard. BUT, my God is working harder.
A THIEF COMES TO STEAL AND KILL AND DESTROY, BUT I CAME TO GIVE LIFE—LIFE IN ALL ITS FULLNESS.
(JOHN 10:10, NCV)
I experienced full and abundant life this weekend. FULL AND ABUNDANT. Boom!
I don’t know if it was the extra long plane rides that screamed death, the supportive conversations with Caron, or the sunshine that brought about a sunburn and beads of sweat. Maybe it was the smiles inspired by Jarred and Jenn, or the swordfish that seriously was the best fish of MY LIFE (with salty rice) or MAYBE it was being above the clouds at sunset listening to Justin’s whistle rendition of “God of Wonders”. But whatever it was, it was life, abudnant life–life in all it’s fullness. Life away from one I hated back home (and honestly, still do).
GOD OF WONDERS BEYOND OUR GALAXY, YOU ARE HOLY.
THE UNIVERSE DECLARES YOUR MAJESTY, YOU ARE HOLY, HOLY!
I needed to run away, so badly (I mean if you’re not sure what I’m talking about, just look at what I’ve spent the last few weeks doing…). I needed to literally turn off work, to forget the 10,000 meetings and mile long to-do list, and just be content in the moment with no other care or worry in the world. And to remember that He is holy. And that we are holy, and wholly His. I am His!
I am HIS! This is what I thought…Who am I in this giant universe, flying above the clouds that still He loves so much that He’d fight death and darkness for. Who am I, and why woud I be so deserving? Why should he fight for me? And here’s the even cooler part, to my left sat a wonderful man, to my right say a gorgeous woman..and He would do the same for each of them. That right there, that is not just abundant life, that’s ABUNDANT LOVE.
So I lived in the moment. Four days of just being in the moment. Living in love of what I swear is God’s perfect will. That’s what abundant life looks like. But even better, that’s what abundant love feels like.
I cried in the Newark Airport. I did NOT want to come home. Actually none us did, but we did anyway. And I know that it was because it’s God’s perfect will for us. I sat there and told Jenn, “I hate my life back home. I don’t want to go back.” And being the great friend she is, she understood and comforted. And then told me “I wouldn’t imagine you’d love it.” She’s right too. She called this “funk,” this “phase,” a “season.” And that’s exactly what it is.
So in this season of ups and downs I have two choices: To wrestle with God, or to wrestle without Him. He is my God of Wonders with abundant love. And I’ll call on my God of Wonders in the morning, I’ll call on Him in the darkness, and still there he’ll be with me, fighting for me so that I don’t have to do it alone. He wins everytime, and this weekend was just another glimpse of His victory and power over me. Oh, how I love Him so, ABUNDANTLY….
the flight that made me hyper-ventalate… room for 19 passengers TOTAL.
Laughter really is the BEST medicine.
Contemplation accomplished. (ps I wish I could be even nearly as intelligent as she is)
It’s his goofiness that I love.
Their love is an example.
The morning runs helped me praise God for gifts, many, MANY gifts of whom are people.
Have you ever had water go into your snorkel while breathing out of it? Well, I lived through it…
and the FISH!!! (my mouth is still happy)
and them. did I mention abundant love?