I’m noticing a trend here.. it begins with “I miss blogging.. I miss my words… I miss letting my heart bleed a little of my thoughts into yours…”
A few weeks ago I was talking to my dear, dear friend about it. She, having already completed grad school said, “I kind of wondered if you’d keep up with your blog after you started your classes…” I mean, I would like to… I just haven’t. It sucks, me coming here once more to say–I’m back, I’m ready to race these fingertips (with pink nail polish) all across Airy into another deep and intimate moment in which I try and share some other piece of my giant heart that is “content” with perhaps a little “discontentment.” …but here I am.
I really do love writing. I love going back years (now) and seeing that God’s plan is continually unfolding in each step that I take from my front door to my car, outside of my car and onto campus, into other lives, and through these pieces of happiness (and not so happiness) that I am finding along the way. And oh it’s so, so good my friends.
and then it’s not. Because all I want to do is sit and let these words ooze over like a freshly poured beer on a summer night…but I can’t because “I have to be up at 5:30 tomorrow for work, and then I have to finish reading those 100 pages of multicultural theories, and write that lesson plan, and run somewhere in there, and oh yeah, _____-I miss her, I need to call her,” (but do I? no, I get by just thinking of her and
life goes on MY life goes on)…and the same goes for you, and you, and you, and you…
Pam told me it must be a good thing though–means life is going well. True. For ME. But in there I see this selfishness that misses the considerate phone calls, the spontaneous dinners, the squeaky laughter…and I really don’t like it.
I have 24 days left of my summer break (and well deserved after all the stress and hard work that brought in an A and A-..ps grad school grading scales are a lot less lenient than they were in undergrad, A LOT…). 24 days with so much to do that catching my breath is hardly at all what I have time for. I have to be up at 8am tomorrow and run to Lowes to get supplies for a chair project that will leave my mom smiling and my aunts impressed. I have to send those emails that needed to be sent months ago (probably pay a bill or two too).
..And this is just my life now. And it pleads with me to hit the pause button. But I choose not to.
This is my life. And instead I choose to
move. BE MOVED.
[quote]Come and move me… In a holy dance, through my circumstance…[/quote]
So I move slowly into a promise.. maybe I should call it a commitment to keep the things that I love ever so present in this life I’m lovin’… because the relationships with you feed me. and the running next to Him exercises my soul. and the writing supplies my thoughts. And I just can’t NOT go through the next two years living like this.
So here- tomorrow I’m watching the Bachelorette with one of my church Momma’s. And on Tuesday, I’m chillaxing with my favorite (don’t tell the others) cousin. Thursday I’m meeting my sweet, sweet friend and her little guy that I intend to snuggle up with until he gets sick of me. AND GUESS WHAT! Friday calls for some b-day celebrating. It’s the movement that centered around the relationships I’ve been most blessed to have.
The fulfillment of Scripture that says we NEED to be with one another. And oh sweet darlings, I need you most!
I’m trying to really get published on blogher.com. And, I’ve committed to being a part of the Influence Network where I can make my online “life” mean something. I’ve meshed my quiet time with #shereadstruth (an online Bible study- first up, SOUL DETOX!). Oh and whatever happened to my oneword365? Something about Investment? …and didn’t I have that “Desire to Inspire?”
Move me somewhere into there. Somewhere that my life meets busyness with gratitude and balance and stillness that creeps into the fast paced moments when I get to be with you.
Come and move me in this place where I’m rooted so deeply in You and this amazing life that I’m not nearly loving enough…help me soar.