No but seriously… what I meant to say….
geez, I have no idea.
I had 384 views yesterday. Is that for real?! 384! Do you all really care that much…. or were there people that were just that “interested” in seeing who and what and when….as if they’re really a part of my everyday life. Okay so that sounds really snobby, REALLY SNOBBY! And not at all like I don’t care and am not deeply touched by the “interest” but really… REALLY?!
Words are just more fun.
Words are the funness around my smiles.
Words are the funness around my silly life.
Words are the funness around these experiences that bring me closer to who God wants me to be.
Words are the unspoken tears of the hard times that I later look back at as “fun”.
Words are the laughter to some crazy ass first (and last) dates… more on that later…
Words really are just way more fun.
I have five favorite responses from yesterday’s post:
1- “Mija, what are you not telling us…?”
2- “Wait. So you’re NOT getting married to ____” which by the way I probably owe huge apologies to the life changer who probably now thinks I’m some crazed pathological liar living in fantasy world… more on that later too… for now know this: I’M NOT.
3- “Let me tell you a story about a boy and a wolf…”
4- “I’m so confused.”
5- “Wait.. I thought you were over *that*” (referring to the last *lost* six months of my life)
Which is what begs for yet ANOTHER follow-up post to my last controversial two.
The news- Though it may have inferred bad news, it was quite the opposite. Instead what “the news” did was show me just how sensitive and involved I still am to the life of CPC. The ministry is a part of my heart, seriously it will ALWAYS BE…. and in realizing how close it all still is to me– I had no choice but to reflect on how much I’ve grown since leaving….even finally making realizations about my leaving.
And my heart was a part of that. Learning to love me for me. Loving myself because of who He made me… Allowing someone to love me for me. Being okay when it’s not what I thought or expected was probably the biggest lesson of it all and I’ve learned it all over these last six months. These words that I type are that much more fun because of these realizations. It’s all coming together. It just keeps coming together.
Look-the fact that I have to say this again just really makes me shake my head with a sassy grin. I will get married. In the meantime though–please know, I’m still not that Christian girl. Take me for the one who trusts in the Lord and learns from relationships. The one who moves forward while looking back occasionally (because I’d be lying if I said I didn’t or wouldn’t). And believe me when I say, don’t, I repeat DON’T let your new “interests” know/find out about your blog amidst sassy fun words such as those. and more on that later too….
And in the funness of these words, I say hello to this life and wave goodbye *that* life. With a smile and with tears. With excitement and with fears.
These words are just fun. And yes scattered. and yes, definitely not always thought out. But they’re mine. So to the 384 of you who were that excited for me, thank you. and sorry, but please don’t be offended by this sass- take a chill pill, and realize, really, really?! you were more excited for my upcoming wedding than I was. Step back. Have fun with these words. And smile. with tears. with excitement. with fears. and just Behold Him with me. He doesn’t stop working, this sass just keeps getting better.