1. DO HAVE A PLAN

I mentioned in my last post— you know, the “woe is me” post that I had to write because I literally couldn’t even yet still felt guilty about posting because lawd knows I hate attention seeking posts…. but there I went… so yeah, about that last post.  The Real Simple feature that will probably never be published but absolutely should be: Our Plan!

We live in a four story condo/townhome.  When we found it, we were so positively smitten with the layout that we didn’t even consider what moving in or out would entail… that and did you read that part above that said FOUR MONTHS into our relationship?!  That’s when we decided that we BOTH hate moving together.  Like legit hate.  My husband, he’s a saint that yells on two occasions, 1-when the Dallas Cowboys are playing, and 2-when George Mason refs are being stupid heads.  His wife aka yours truly yells on every other occasion, especially if the occasion is a relocation involving furniture removal.  BTW-Don’t ask me where that comes from… I think maybe I just have a loud and very passionate voice….

All that to say, we learned fast that if we ever moved out of this place (which surely wouldn’t be in two years) we’d own it and we’d own it good.  So- back in December I started researching moves and all things good and glorious for a smooth transition.  I bought labels, a spunky new binder, stickers, colored duct tape, and even brand new boxes so that each crease would be ours.  And seriously, we owned it.

Someplace in this pretty green binder were inventories of every box; special codes for each room of the house… and someplace in there I’m pretty sure my husband knocked a few years off of his life as he patiently listened to me gently firmly remind him of the inventories and of the need to use the tape dispenser at a certain angle for the best tape efficiency.  seriously.  but my gosh- THE INVENTORIES!!!

2. DON’T FREAK OUT..just kidding

Seriously.  Go back and read my last post.  Freak out, we just learned that in doing so we needed to be ready to jump right back in.. which unfortunately meant that the tape probably wasn’t going to get used as efficiently.  And it also meant that the inventories that so clearly documented and categorized every over-valued possession were most likely going to get lost in the madness of my personal need to “own” this move.

Maybe a better way to put it is: choose what to freak out about.  For us- it was my cry uncle moment that beckoned my Trey to stay home and help me in areas that I had nearly given up on.  Thursday might have actually been the best day for us in a long time… and that’s because we were swimming in the depths of Phase 1, but we were doing it together.

3. DO INVEST IN OTHERS

And speaking of our favorite together times: being with our student min kids.  For me, I’m like, woah– these kids, I’ve watched them grow for the past nine years into these amazing people, and Trey he’s all, “there’s actually kids like that?!”  Yeah, THERE ARE!  If you’re not investing in the now generation- do it… if nothing else, for the strength of the young men and women.  No just kidding… kind of.  But seriously, these guys and gal, gift straight from H.E.A.V.E.N.

I posted this photo of Chris with just one of my normal, little, sappy collection of words on Saturday morning because he came alone on a Friday night to help Trey load the mostly inventoried boxes and large pieces into our pod.  p.s. PODS are the bees knees and the cat’s pajamas.

Good Morning POD Day #2! We’re waking up tired, and exhausted but so thankful and rejuvenated by the help and love of some of our church family! @cmitch_44 I’ve have the privilege of witnessing your growth from middle school to now (A SENIOR!!)– you are selfless, caring, extremely intelligent, and most importantly and notable, Christ-like. People: you need to be friends with teenage (I mean… young adult) men who will give up a Friday night, annnnndd a Saturday afternoon to be with you and help you move. #nevermoreblessed #bringintheothers #letsdothis

A post shared by nicole || beholding blessings (@nicolebeholds) on Feb 25, 2017 at 3:21am PST

Naturally, the next morning, when my Trey woke up feeling ill, we felt much peace knowing that our Topher was returning to help, and this time with even more of our favorite students.  Funny how as soon as they walked into the mix they said, “Nicole, do we get special IG posts too?”

How about a blog post?!

But seriously.  I did senior pics for this girl– and every time I think too hard about her, I get teary and lost in my prayers because of God’s gracious work in her life.  She’s the best kind of sweet and sassy all in one and did I mention that she is hands-down, the most beautiful dancer.

And these other guys.  Let’s just say when Katie saw them coming it was like a moment of bliss, hallelujah chorus blaring, fancy gold halos around their handsome faces, and the words, “Chris is here… and he brought two more Mitchells!!!”  I have so much to say about this entire family but those are personal words that I’ll handwrite to their parents in the coming weeks.   They’ll be words of thanksgiving, and gladness, and pride of the men they’ve become, and humility of the opportunity to have been a part of it.  They were bringing stacks of boxes down THREE AT A TIME.  And they were loading that pod and owning it so much better than I was with my stupid green moving binder and silly labels.

But I can’t forget Marshall.  That sweet heart and smile of yours that is contagious: the way you make us laugh with your stories of life and happiness, you are the real deal.  A rarity among your generation.  All of you are really….

And there’s no way we could have done it without them.  No way.

Plus- in the end, Trey and I realized that the only way we could actually love moving together is by being together, with them.

So a new post.  To the Bressler movers:

You are something fierce…I can see it on your faces.  And you’re loved something fierce too.  You are Christ’s hands to the least of these… even us.  And we’re humbled to get to know you because we’re standing in your shadows as you go catch the world with your brilliance and strength.  It’s these little acts of kindness that are going to carry you into a success that God is writing for you each and every day.  Don’t stop.  Go get it.

ps. thank you.

4. DON’T LET YOUR HUSBAND GET THE FLU

Who knew that the shirt my Trey wore in that picture would be an exact prophesy of the hours that followed when all his strength and health were completely #demo’d.  And who knew that me, standing right there behind him, would follow soon enough in said prophesy.  Let me tell you something, when your house goes on the market in t-3 days, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, get the flu!

Ain’t no body got time for dat!

But as if he hadn’t proved himself a saint already, he was surely about to on Sunday when my parents came over to help us pack the last of the last (of this round).  And he sure proved himself all over again today when he helped me load the rest of the pod, him talking in a whisper, and me, well… I plead the fifth.  I don’t feel well, okay!

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5.  DO STAY TOGETHER

The oven is cleaner than when we moved in, and the shower door is actually clear as glass as it should be.  And my vanity has less than 2 hair products on it because yeah, I packed that crapola, yes. I. did.  So Trey is now walking around painting touch ups and sniffling the yucks while I dizzily write to all y’all from my transformed office with a fever of about 101.

And Dear Trey, the love of my life: those words of frustration that went something like, “BUT IT WON’T FIT THAT WAY” and “WHY WON’T YOU JUST TRY IT?!” and “YOUR DAD IS SO MUCH NICER TO ME WHEN I USE THE TAPE,” I know they weren’t truly ours, but just words of our exhaustion and infirmities.  They were words just buried in the brutality of our grievance: selling our first home.

But let me tell you this- I’d do it all a thousand times over; to be at home, with you.

Phase 1: Out.

First though, I’d like to introduce you to my home for the next two years.  This “home” is one and a half rooms combined, and 3/4 less of closet.  When I made the decision to move in with my parents to their downsized home, I knew I’d have to scrunch.  Ladies and Gents, my darlings, I am making it work.  And I have many posts to come explaining just how exactly.  Did you know that I really am this organized?  Doubtful I’m sure as you see many other areas of my life.

Today though, meet Bedroom.  It’s my little, and by little I mean only, and yes teeny weeny, sanctuary.  But it’s mine.

This is the bed where I sleep.  Yes–I am sleeping again, though I must be honest, I feel as though I am sleeping in a guest room.  STILL….it’s been two months…..  This is also where memories lie above me–in my boxes and albums.  It’s where I rest under pretty flower freshness and am reminded to live faith.

and this, this is one of four homes for my shoes–all of which are separated by family.  Yes, my shoes have families.  This is where the Boots live.  Except for six pairs, they are visiting other families for the time being.  The Boots are one of the most admired of the Shoe family.  First thing I see when I wake up every morning…my favorite part of getting dressed in the fall and winter (which ones do I get to wear tomorrow??).  Always let the shoes pick the outfit!  ALWAYS!

Here is where the Heels live.  I get to take them in whenever I’m also watching my trash TV.  They actually go hand in hand….oh, it’s where Sass gets inspired.  Sneakers and Slippers like to hang with them for comfort release.  They’re so nice like that.

This here is my writing nook, my watch TV nook, my read a book and then don’t finish it nook, my talk on the phone to besties nook, my “look how cute Sasha is while sleeping” nook.

Next to the “all of the above” nook is where the Flat family lives.  They like to “hang out” with each other and double up in their rooms.  They’re a pretty organized family arranged by color, season, and even in some cases brand/style.  I think the Flats are feeling rather lonely lately as the Boots are doing more of the entertaining this season…

The fourth shoe family lives in my closet, high above my clothes.  They’re the Sassy family…all I can say is that they only come out for special occasions when dancing and feathers are non-negotiables.  They asked not to be pictured at this time…

but this!  THIS is the sacred place, my special place, my favorite place.  The place that sings the Hallelujah Chorus whenever I stand in front of it…Ummm… no I have not made an idol out of my closet….and running accomplishment wall.

wait for it….

ready for those numbers!  This place is home to…….

• 96 spring and summer tops
• 72 fall and winter tops
• 18 skirts
• 53 dresses and tunic tops
• 8 hoodies
• 9 purses
• 4 wallets
• 22 scarves

and this, this is my posession confession.  well kind of.  I actually have more.

In my dresser I have:

• 21 tshirts
• 23 camis and tanks
• 12 workout shorts, skirts, and pants
• 16 workout shirts
• 13 dress slacks
• 11 casual pants
• 7 pairs of pijammies

In my chest of drawers….who am I kidding?  It was time to stop counting….or else I was about to purge my most treasured possessions.

But wait.

Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

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crap.  I hate it when Scripture convicts me.  seriously, CRAP.

There was a lady–I have no idea her name, Jen I think… anyway, she decided to live by 7.  For 7 months she focused on different areas of excess in her life.  Food–she only ate 7 items, FOR A MONTH, the same 7, EVERY DAY.  Media–she only used 7 forms, FOR A MONTH.  annddddd, *GASP* clothes. 7 items of clothing….FOR.A.MONTH!!!!!  The SAME 7 ITEMS…for a month.  Today alone I wore 9 (2 outfits=why I LOVE SUNDAYS).

I co-lead a small group of 7th grade girls.  Tonight we made a pact to “fast” in our own “clothing” sort of way.  For 7 days, we will wear only seven items of clothing.  Will it be easy?  Will it be difficult?  Will it be stinky?? (underwear and socks don’t count).

We’ve been challenged.  Here are my 7:

leggings, jeans, yoga pants, fleecy, cami, sweater and uggs.

7 DAYS.  this lady is freakin’ psycho.  Or just crazy in love with the Father.

Her whole goal was to create space to have more intimacy with Him.  I gotta be honest here reader friends of mine, I’ve never been more thankful for His blessings, my earthly treasures (and my 7 days haven’t even begun).  And of course I need to say: my heavenly treasures are better, eternal.  I get it, I get it.

*shakes head and clicks ‘publish’ with a commitment to share thoughts about this challenge in 7 days.*

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I HAVE A NEW HOME…and so does Sasha.  It’s coming together, slowly, and with the help of my dear, DEAR friends and family.  I’m in love with my purple office with green accents and little birdie curtains.  I’m inspired by my orange and paisley dining room, and I’m crawling out of my skin to get to my farmers market kitchen.  My pictures are getting hung, my scents are making this place mine, and my dog…well ya, she’s made her mark too (though I wasn’t crazy about the kind of mark…)

I HAVE A NEW MANTRA… thanks to Taunya (seriously, you’ll love her!  Get a nutritionist, even if you think you don’t need one, you need her!)  Back to my new mantra, “change the should into a MUST.”  Can I just say…well… “not should, must.”  I must run, not I should.  I must go to God, not should.  I must eat the apple, not I should not eat the chocolate–but we all fail when it comes to chocolate right?!  I must make a move, not should.  It’s time and I’m excited, scared, and so ready all at the same time.  It’s good and I can feel it.  But I’m also controlling these speedy Gonzales fingers.

I HAVE A NEW ADVENTURE… it’s coming, and for now it needs to stay a secret.  “I need a breath of heaven scent to know You move through me… I feel You movin'”  Oh I can smell it.  But be ready, so, so ready…just like me. I feel Him movinnnnnnnnn’.  Here comes me being bold.

by the way, ever worn your slippers to the grocery and run into “that one guy” on the same night?  One would have thought I’d hate myself.  Truth is, I’d totally do it again because it made me laugh, THAT hard.  And, he’s still pretty cute, but so am I.  I had on slippers.  He just had his manwhich.  FOOL.

Let me tell you about my journey with the oatmeal.  Step one, boil one cup of water.  Got up from my writing to find that I had turned off the stove.  Step two, turn on the stove again.  Step three, REALLY boil the water.  Got up to pour in the oats.  Water had evaporated.  Step four, repeat steps two and three.  AND we’re underway.

I started thinking about my cooking adventures.  Let me make you laugh.

When I was fourteen I had to give a demonstration speech.  If you know me you also know my *let’s call it fascination NOT obsession* with NSYNC.  Joey Fatone (the fat-one get it?? with the red hair) he was on Regis and Kelly cooking with his father.  They made chicken marsala.  THAT was what I was going to make.  I was going to make CHICKEN MARSALA (it was their family recipe).  So, Josh came over after school and together we “made” chicken marsala.  Let me define “made”.  The house was smokey.  Not a little smokey, think the fire department probably should have come to check on us smokey.  It was bad.  But the chicken marsala… it was GOOD!  Do you remember walking through the halls at school smelling the cookies from Home Ec class?  It was like that…only not cookies, and not home ec.  I got an A.  But, my mom made me buy her new pans because they were pretty charred.  That A was NOT as exciting as most A’s for obvious reasons.

When I was seventeen I made chicken in my apartment (I was at UTSA then).  The shortest way to tell this story is that we had to sleep with the windows open for a week, probably two.  Remember, I was living in San Antonio then.  There was no breeze only stale hot air.  Oh, and for my own sake, I should tell you that I didn’t know the chicken was expired.  If I had been graded, I’m pretty sure I would have failed not just this project, but the entire class.

Skip a few years.  I am now 20.  I’m living with Sheree (the best roommate I have EVER had, will EVER have, and hope to someday have again…)  It was family night.  I made pot-roast.  Todd came over, and then he said this “your roast was even more amazing then sleeping til 11 this morning.”  Then, he came over again, I made spaghetti.  And he came over again, I made madarin chicken.  And that my friends was the beginning of a love affair with my pots and pans.

And then I made hamburgers on a george foreman grill.  They were pink.  I think I gave ecoli to a few of my friends.  and if I didn’t that was by the grace of God.  Stick to the pots and pans, that’s what that taught me.

I stopped cooking for a good long while.  And when I tried to restart, I made a TERRIBLE batch of spaghetti.  That was not the way to make my reappearnce into the land of yummy, satisfying treats.. Like, I actually made my friend stop eatting so I could reseason it.  It was bad.  That was a few years ago.  Things have changed.

These are my successes:

Greek Chicken with Orzo Pasta

Stuffed Mushrooms

Sangria

Tilapia Piccatta

Pork Loin

and SO MUCH MORE (unless people have been lying to me).. oatmeal will not be added to that list.

I wanted oatmeal this morning.  That was my only desire.  Seriously, my only desire…(also because I have no milk, the blender is dirty, I ran out of eggs, and that is all that was left…and some old chicken that I never cooked and refuse to for very obvious reasons–it’s cold outside!)  But I really wanted oatmeal.

The whole day by day thing is where I’m living right now (out of boxes), and I LIKE IT.  I like making most decisions.  I want this but I don’t that.  It’s empowering.  And then there are the things I’m so unsure about.  If I can make an outfit out of that with those jeans I wore yesterday and the shoes that don’t give me blisters…then maybe I can go to work and not come home early because I wasn’t 110% pleased with my outfit (not that anyone else would care). It’s those things that are more difficult.  If I paint the dining room this color, will those curtains go, or would I need to buy new ones, and then will I need to change my accent colors/pillows?  But…It’s also those things that are helping me find myself, my likes, my tolerances, and my absolutely die over it dislikes.  They help me realize that things, choices do matter, even when I or others think they don’t or they won’t.  But ultimately, in living day to day I  need to make sure that there is purpose.  If I choose that outfit that I really need to go put on because I’ll be late to work, will God be given glory because of it.  I think so!! Why you ask?  Well that’s easy, because I finally made a decision and am on my way to have the Spirit speak through me to my kids.  And the paint colors, the curtains, I want my place to scream, comfort, warmth, and genuine kindness, because that’s how I want to show my Lord to others, in the same actions, in my attitudes and with pride of the blessings He’s given me to share with others–to tell the story of His grace.

LOOKING AT IT ONE WAY, YOU COULD SAY, “ANYTHING GOES. BECAUSE OF GOD’S IMMENSE GENEROSITY AND GRACE, WE DON’T HAVE TO DISSECT AND SCRUTINIZE EVERY ACTION TO SEE IF IT WILL PASS MUSTER.” BUT THE POINT IS NOT TO JUST GET BY. WE WANT TO LIVE WELL, BUT OUR FOREMOST EFFORTS SHOULD BE TO HELP OTHERS LIVE WELL.

1 CORINTHIANS 10:23-24 (THE MESSAGE)

There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman “Do Everything.”  It’s an awesome song and if you’re a mom, you need to hear it, no really, I will give you $1.29 so that you can buy it and listen to it when you think what you’re doing doesn’t matter.  *removing myself off of soapbox now*

IT ALL MATTERS JUST AS LONG AS YOU DO EVERYTHING YOU DO TO THE GLORY OF THE ONE WHO MADE YOU,
CAUSE HE MADE YOU, TO DO EVERY LITTLE THING THAT YOU DO TO BRING A SMILE TO HIS FACE, TELL THE STORY OF GRACE WITH EVERY MOVE THAT YOU MAKE AND EVERY LITTLE THING YOU DO…

It does all matter…it really does.  And how much more of a life with purpose will we or can we live knowing that it’s about bringing a smile to God’s face by helping others live well.  Ahhh, it makes me excited.  Because today in writing this, it’s no longer about wanting my oatmeal, it’s about wanting to bring a smile to His face.  And with that, I’ve made a decision one that I’m sure I want (that alone has got to put a smile on his face).  It’s the black pants with the polka dot shirt, the boots that don’t give me blisters, and the red scarf for a pop of color, a pop of passion!  I’m about to go do everything to bring about some glory HALLELUJAHS…come with me.

I’m not crazy about change. It really depends on the day, but most of the time, NO, not at ALL, I am fully against it! Do I like spontaneity? Totally. Everyday. All the time. Surprises, oh yeah!! I love the thrill, the nervousness, the curiosity, but mostly the thought of what’s to come. Before you think there’s not, know that YES, there is a difference… I hate being forced into transformation. Instead I prefer to be thrown into it by my own natural impulse, head first. Then I wait.

I spent Saturday doing two things. One, signing a new lease, and two, packing up what’s become my home. This home was not an easy one to find. It took me three years to call this place home and to finally make it my own. I’m positive it was because I hated the change that brought me here. It meant I was officially a grown-up. It meant that I was forced to live in a place away from my friends. They for the longest time had been my home. But I woke up one year ago and decided to make Suncatcher Court my new home. For eight months, it’s been another place for me tostill see Love. I dove in head first and oh my word am I so so glad I did (for many reasons)!

Saturday I had a similar experience. I became my mother. No seriously, that’s what everyone told me. And I’m SOOOOO okay with that (she’s pretty awesome if I do say so myself). They called me a “Saenz tumbleweed.” I can take it. I like being her for a moment. To make decisions on the fly. To trust God so completely without a worry in the sky that all I have and feel is peace.

She used to tell me that we were moving because God needed us someplace new; that we needed to go there to find out. I used to think she made it up, but now, I can’t deny knowing that it was the truth and all because of Him. It’s part of me being an impatient analyzer. So here I am, allowing God to take me someplace new. And for the second time (out of at least fourteen), I’m going without hesitation. With spontaneity. With thrill, excitement, and lots of unknowns.

Time out. I’m making this into something so much more than it needs to be. Let me clarify that I’m only moving 500 feet away. Seriously. It’s not a big deal. But yes, being the jokester I can be, I played a joke on a few of my closest friends. I got called “a little rascal,” “just terrible,” but my absolute favorite, “a little bitch!”

Is it weird that that last one made me feel so soooo loved and really, confirmed that I’m AT HOME! I’ve beenat home. I saw tears, and a whole lot of love (even with the name calling.) *note- I apologized in detail and in length for bringing on tears (and then I shed a little of my own).

So let me tell you about this place, about my next home that God’s taking me to. It’s like He handed it to me on a silver platter. Yes, I believe he was wearing white gloves too. “Here Nic, let Me bless you. I want you to have a bigger place. I want you to save more money. And oh yeah, here’s a little bonus for you to buy some new furniture too.”

Here’s my favorite thing about change. It can’t come without a little spontenaity. Nor can it come with out a little passion and feeling. I woke up yesterday to a grey sky but the sun was shining ever so brightly. It was one of those mornings when I breathe in so much fresh air that I start choking a little. Then, literally 5 hours later, there was snow on the ground. And it made me passionate about my creator; that He has that much control and power to sustain this earth. But that He has even more to sustain me. I wasn’t going to bed last night expecting to see snow glistening in the moonlight. Nor did I expect to wake up this morning to dew on the grass and water droplets falling from trees. But I did. And tomorrow will be different too. It will change and I’ll be forced to go along with it. But I’m pretty sure (with the best parts of my mom I have in me) that I’ll get some wild impulse, dive in head first (I hope I dive deep, very VERY DEEP), and then I’ll wait. Because that’s how us tumbleweeds do things. Take me far Lord, I want to go so so far into love with You!