Little Firecrackers

In the entrapment of our infertility, I was pretty judgmental. Like all the time about anything… I would laugh at memes and word art that insinuated mothers were dying for breaks, for sleep, for anything or chance that would get them away from their children; but on the inside, I was dying. Here we were, ready to sell Trey’s kidney (not mine because it might hurt too badly) just so that we could have our own baby… and here were these mother’s, joking, claiming madness, wanting to escape the dark barracks of motherhood. WHY?!

I saw a couple moms’ posts yesterday about their little firecrackers and it brought back all those memories! If you can empathize at all you won’t be surprised to know that when I saw this, I was right back there in my judgy state wondering… why?! You have a beautiful and healthy child! You have a daughter who is independent. A son who is happy…

It’s kind of like when all the twin spectators see me holding one girl on my hip and pushing the stroller with the other hand, “Wow! You have your hands full.” You know I’m sassy so I say, “But my heart is fuller…” I always say “my heart is fuller.”

Is it the skeptical, negative “me” that chooses to see the words “little firecracker” as a slight? Or, is that really how it is meant?? Here I am on the other side, and believe me, I get it. Honestly, I got it before hand too– I was a nanny. I am an aunt and for goodness sakes, I worked with middle schoolers for 10+ years! I have plenty of “firecrackers” in my life, and now, even a “firecracker” of my own. But I refuse to look at said “firecrackers” as intended. My Elsie, makes me thrash covers at 3 a.m. She brings about more eye-rolls from me than I was giving my poor dad at sixteen. But goodness knows, I am proud of her. She is only four months old and I am PROUD of the person she is becoming. I am proud that before words she knows how to communicate her feelings, her wants, her desires, and especially her needs… a-whole-latta needs. She’s already so bold– and believe me that will serve her well in the future. If she is a firecracker, then Lord– I hope she never burns out.

I realized yesterday as we were sitting around the family table (we call it a family table rather than a dining table because that’s where family gathers), that I don’t ever want any of our “firecrackers” to burn out. This while hushing Kellan so he wouldn’t wake the babies, also while hushing Hudson so he wouldn’t wake the babies… and also while… you guessed it, hushing Tav so he wouldn’t wake the babies. Their energy is something I pray will take them to high places now AND TOMORROW. I pray that the firecracker in them will spark a tenacity to fight hard for themselves and even more for others.

That loud roar of childhood noise is music to our ears. Trey is going to call me right about now when he reaches this point to question, “our ears?!” To which I will say, It is.. it’s the sound of broken strings, and an off key trumpet, mixed with some flats on those old piano keys– but still working, still playing, not giving up… and would we want it any other way?!

Let it be known that our world has eleven little “firecrackers” and we like it that way. However, please do your best to refrain from calling them firecrackers unless you mean it like we do. In which case, by all means, encourage the energy and definitely encourage the honesty! Those are the firecrackers we like to light.

Together, we lit our firecrackers with ice cream pie and games and playful uncles. Those lights were dazzling and to be honest, as I look through the photos, they’re still shining bright!

Sharing our fourth in photos below:

If you want to find me in my element, I’ll be in the back cooking… entertaining… chopping onions… you know, just being happy as a clam.

Quote of the day: “Guys, I’m going to need an umbrella again this year… this time for different reasons.” Last year was so stinking hot. This year, a storm was brewing.

I remember my dad and his respect for the flag. He would ALWAYS bring it inside… John did the honors this year.

This is Granny’s “I think you’re cheating look,” a trait that our firecrackers will grow out of soon enough but for now, need the reminding.

I will never claim to be a pinterest worthy mom with decorations to match every event which is why I am choosing to share these. Notice the cups in the wrappers and the grocery sack on the corner. Notice the bottle in the background and Toy Story on the counter? We’re living in the days of little firecrackers… this is real life.

If you follow me on Instagram, I post my cooking escapades on stories from time to time. SO MANY people wanted this recipe. But guess what, I don’t use recipes! That said, here’s the best that I could come up with for these water in your mouth hamburgers.

I did not story the ice cream pie that is our family’s staple at EVERY spring-fall event. Notice how my husband likes to focus in on our Texas ice cream. If you haven’t had it, you aren’t truly living…

This is where Tavy questioned my ability to make good food. “Tavy, have you EVER had something that I made and not like it…?”

His response, “Oh… Uncle Trey made that…”

Notice Hudson munching on that burger…

This was about the time Papa realized that Tav and I need to open up our own restaurant. When we retire, right Tav?

This might have been the ONLY moment I sat down all day (and when I ate) … I wouldn’t have it any other way. #inmyelement

For some reason, I couldn’t stop watching Tavy– he was 5 when I met him and now he looks like he’s 12. I’ve said it before, Lord help me when my girls start growing up.

And no. My four month old daughter is NOT wearing a wig…

Also, do you think my other daughter will ever grow out of getting hangry?

Bless his heart, he wanted to hold her so badly…

The boys taught Hannah how to do the Macarena. I’m dying now just thinking about it. H, please don’t be mad about this when you bring home your college boyfriend for the first time and we decide it’d be fun to show him the video… Scoll to 0:45 seconds for the best part.

let's behold

@nicolebeholds

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